Reluctantly I hung the new calendar on the wall last week. This
is a year of ending and has a certain finality to it. After 12.5
years of pouring my life, energies and hopes into my children and
homeschooling, my days as a homeschooler are numbered. I currently
count them in months but soon they will be measured in weeks and
days. Lord willing, this fall my kids go off to college.
Over the next few months, I will share with you the experience
as we prepare our twins for college. You'll journey with us as we
struggle to finish up college essays, search for scholarships and
grants, visit college campuses and anxiously await college decisions.
The last column will share the day when the kids leave home next
fall. Other columns will focus on things we are doing and should
have done already.
Along with practical tips and suggestions for helping your student,
we'll cover the emotional issues I face as I prepare for the empty
nest years. I'm already working on plans to keep busy.
Let me introduce you to the students we will be following through
this journey. Art and I have been homeschooling Robin and Eric since
the first day of kindergarten. Other than one week spent in a local
school as an experiment, they have been homeschooled their whole
lives.
Eric works part-time at the Jesus Bookstore. He plans to study
youth ministries in the future and is applying to a Bible College
in a major city. He will finish his application this month and submit
it, even though it requires several essays and he does not enjoy
writing. He took the ACT in December and has received his score.
A perfect score on the ACT is 36, therefore we were proud of his
score of 28. We believe he has a very good chance to get into the
school of his choice, but we will not know the answer until April.
Robin helps me merchandise part-time outside of the home. She dreams
of being a science fiction/fantasy writer. She is looking at a Christian
liberal arts college that offers a writing minor and recently submitted
her application. She also took the ACT in December, and we were
thrilled with her score of 33. We know that she exceeds the minimum
educational requirements for her college. We also recognize that
she will need to win a major scholarship in order to attend next
year. She plans to compete for the President's Scholarship next
month. This requires a written essay and an interview. We will share
more about this after the competition. Of course, she has to be
accepted first!
This month, I'd like to mention three things that I wish someone
had told me before. If I had realized these things, the last few
weeks and months would have been less hectic. My kids also would
have better chances at scholarships.
1. College Fairs - If you think your student will be going to college
in the future, start attending college fairs by their freshman year
of high school. We had not heard of college fairs until last fall
and we attended the very last Christian College Fair of the season
in our region. Fortunately, we met one of the admissions staff of
Robin's potential college and spent a block of time talking with
him. We expressed our concern about the fact that Robin's dream
is a nontraditional career, and he shared not only what the college
had to offer but also their philosophy of education. We realized
this was a good match for Robin and decided to investigate further.
Since then, we have read the college catalog, watched the video,
visited the website, and asked others about the college. Robin and
I already anticipate our visit to the college in late February.
We only started looking at colleges for Robin recently, and, therefore,
the last few weeks have been hectic as we tried to gather more information
and work on her college application.
2. College Applications - When you visit the college fairs, ask
for applications from the colleges that you are interested in. Doing
this before you are close to making a decision gives you time to
read and discuss the essay questions. The summer before your student
applies to colleges, read through and discuss together these questions,
possibly helping them make outlines of their answers. It is frustrating
to write an insightful essay when you are facing a deadline and
have procrastinated too long. Reading through the questions and
discussing them together in advance helps them when they sit down
to do the actual writing.
3. Testing - We made a major mistake because we did not know the
benefits of taking the PSAT during Robin & Eric's junior year.
The only way to become a National Merit Scholar is to take this
test during your junior year. Because they did not take this test,
they are ineligible for many scholarships. If you think your student
could do well on the tests and receive this designation, have them
take the PSAT when they are eligible. This can save you lots of
money as they can compete for many more scholarships.
Those are my practical suggestions for this month. Next month,
I share how we made the decision about which colleges were right
for our students and why Eric and Robin are only applying to one
college at this time.
I also want to take a moment to deal with the emotional side of
realizing that my homeschooling days are running out. This is a
confusing time for me. Some days I find myself near tears as I contemplate
the loneliness that lies ahead. Other days I am so proud of my kids
and their accomplishments that I want to shout it to the world.
I do rejoice in the fact that they are going to college next year.
However, I occasionally feel fear creep in as I wonder about their
adjustment to college life and freedom.
I've come to realize that these emotions are normal. I don't want
to stuff them and deny them, and sometimes I simply need to vent
them. However, it must be at the appropriate time. I try to move
on in positive ways. I've started making lists of things that I
will enjoy for myself and by myself in the future. I'm looking at
my relationship with my husband and contemplating how I can nurture
it NOW so that we aren't two strangers staring at each other across
the dinner table some night in the future. I'm also actively trying
to make positive memories with my family, so that when Eric and
Robin leave for college, I won't have regrets about these last few
months.
We're on a countdown to college at this house…want to join
us?
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