Eclectic Homeschool OnlineVisit EHO Lite
An easy to navigate site for those just
starting out
or planning for the next school year.

EHO Advertiser.
Eclectic Homeschool Curriculum Fair
Find homeschool resources by all the top publishers.
Subscribe to the
EHO Newsletters

EcleticHS Discussion List
Eclectic Homeschool Newsletter
Support Group Leaders
Feel free to post any part or all of our EHO Newsletter to your email or snailmail lists.
Our information sheet is available for handing out to your members.
To submit your resources for review, please read our review guidelines.
Make a Donation to EHO
Featured Resource
Shop Amazon - Help Fund EHO

Shop Amazon's Holiday Countdown to Black Friday Store

Shop Amazon's Gifting Page
Homeschool News
Our Staff Blogs
Search the Web from EHO
Join the Campaign

Printer Friendly Version

Parenting and Family Resources



Recommended Resource

Lower Your Voice

by Tammy Cardwell

I heard a man say, recently, that if you were a prince or princess, one of the things you would be taught from a young age is never to raise your voice. The idea being that, as royalty, you are the one in charge, so people must listen to you. Consequently, if you raise your voice you are admitting that you are no longer the one with authority.

Hearing this threw me back in time to a journey I took. It began when my children were quite young. Another mother was trying to explain to a friend of mine that she never had to yell at her children and that, in fact, when she really wanted their attention she lowered her voice rather than raising it. My friend later told me, “I can’t stop yelling at my kids; that’s the only time they listen to me!” I laughed and nodded, understanding what she meant, but at the same time wondering.

As my sons grew, I too became a yeller. As my friend had said earlier, in my house, I had to raise my voice to be heard. But I didn’t like it. I didn’t like the way yelling at my kids made me feel. I didn’t like how angry I got when they wouldn’t listen. I didn’t like the yelling matches that took place in our home. Then I went to visit a friend.

I spent more than a week with her family and several days into my visit I realized I was seeing a wonderful thing. She had three children that were every bit as active and vocal as my two. She was writing a book on a deadline, so she was under plenty of outside stress. She never raised her voice.


No matter what the situation, no matter how angry she may have felt inside, she never once raised her voice in my presence. Instead, she spoke to her children as a calm, rational adult. Rather than letting situations and other people’s actions provoke her, she stayed in charge. While at her house I made the conscious decision to stop yelling. If she could handle her active three without yelling then I could handle my two. And I was right.

I clearly remember the first time it happened. Well, I clearly remember the end of the incident anyway. My oldest was angry about something and attempting to make his feelings known in the loudest voice possible. Fighting my instincts, I calmly looking at him and said something along the lines of, “I am not going to yell at you and I am not going to listen to you yell at me, so either lower your voice now or come back later when you can.”

It worked pretty much like throwing cold water in his face. The shock stopped him at first and then, when he realized I was serious, he calmed himself down so that he could speak without raising his voice. Because he was calmer, he was more rational. Because I was calm, I was rational. We had our talk and both walked away satisfied. Or, since I was seated at my desk, he walked away and I, as soon as he was gone, started jumping up and down inside. It really had worked!

I’m not perfect, of course, and there have been times when I lost it and yelled at my kids, but for the most part I continued as I had begun and saw the fruit of my efforts. For one thing, there is a direct relationship (for me, at least) between yelling and anger; it’s not so much a case of the angrier I get the more I yell as it is a case of the more I yell the angrier I get. Too, when you require someone, be it yourself or your child, to stop yelling, that person must first calm themselves down; this is always a step in the right direction.

Yes, the day I first lowered my voice was a day of revelation for me. No longer was I reacting; I was acting. No longer was I some powerless peon to be yelled at; I was the mother, the one in charge.

So, if you truly want to rule and reign in life as the Bible tells us to, start out by ruling and reigning over the fleshly part of you that wants to yell. Be the one in charge. Be the king or queen. Lower your voice.

Copyright ©  2007 Eclectic Homeschool Association

New Homeschool Resources - Visit the Eclectic Homeschool Resource Center for more discounted resources.

About EHO | Masthead | Financial Info | Contact Us | Writing for EHO | Get Your Product Reviewed
Linking to this site | Advertise| Submit a Site | Reprinting Articles | Reviewing for EHO | Privacy | Search

This website is Copyright ©1997-2010 Eclectic Homeschool Association, All rights reserved.
This site was authored by Beverly S. Krueger. All contents belong to the Eclectic Homeschool Association or the original authors. Reproduction of this World Wide Web Site in whole or in part is prohibited without permission. All rights reserved. Trademarks may not be used without permission of the trademark owner. Details about our reprint policies are available.

Publishers: Tammy Cardwell, Jean Hall, and Beverly Krueger are the only persons authorized to make product requests on behalf of the Eclectic Homeschool Online. If you receive requests from any other individuals in our name, please do not comply.

The staff at EHO try very hard to answer all our mail. We have had many of our responses to email returned as undeliverable. We also delete unread a great deal of spam. If your email message header sounds like it is spam, it will be deleted. "You Should See This!" or "Have I got something great for you" are examples of subject lines that would be deleted unread. If you use 'EHO' in the subject line it will not be deleted unread. If you have not received an answer to your question, please resend your email. We usually have a delay of 1 to 2 weeks in answering email because of the number of requests we get. Those wishing to request links to our site should read our linking page before writing us. All our resources are posted online. We do not mail information to postal addresses.

This Site Uses the Following for Website Services:

OpenCube CSS Menu

XIGLA - Absolute Banner Manager

Scripture taken from the New King James Version. Copyright © 1979, 1980, 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Thank your for vising the Eclectic Homeschool Online, we hope you found the resources to make your homeschooling journey easier.