It’s amazing how you can listen to ten different people tell you the exact same thing and still be so completely stuck inside your own head, the mindsets that have developed over time, that you just don’t get it. That was me, the young homeschooler who began her foray into homeschooling by reading all she could find in the local library, books by Raymond and Dorothy Moore. I then attended two homeschool conferences, one taught by Gregg Harris. God gave me teachers who truly understood how children learn, but I was so trapped in my public-school-indoctrinated head that, though I believed what they were saying in my heart, my brain would not permit me to follow through. I had to learn some things the hard way. Maybe, hopefully, your story will be different.
So what are those vital things I didn’t “get” right away?
It’s all About Him
The most important thing I didn’t really understand is that it’s all about GOD. That sounds nice and religious, but unless we live by this foundational truth it’s nothing but a religious side note. God made us for Himself and He wants all of us – every aspect of our lives and every aspect of our children’s lives. Not understanding this, I made the typical mistake, trying to fit some kind of Bible study into an already overloaded academic schedule. That, my friends, is priorities out of order. In order to obey God’s Word and train up our children up in the way they should go (Proverbs 22:6), we must center our whole lives, which includes our homeschools, around God, around building intimate relationships with God, around His Word.
Consider this. What is permanent? What will matter most a thousand years from now? Will it be when your child learned to read? His mastery of Algebra? That he served as President of the United States? No. It will be the relationship he had with God, and the impact he made on the Kingdom of God, while he walked on this earth. If we bear this in mind, keeping our priorities in order becomes much easier. We see that academics, while important, must never rule our lives. Only God deserves that place.
So we work toward this goal, intimate relationship with HIM. When we do this, we have the perfect guide, the Holy Spirit, who then aides us in prioritizing everything properly. When our children have the greatest teacher of all, the Holy Spirit, filling them, it revolutionizes learning. And yes, when we have the greatest teacher of all filling us, our ability to teach grows with leaps and bounds. Sure, you can homeschool without having a strong relationship with God as your foundation, but I guarantee your homeschool will never be what He wants it to be. Mine wasn’t.
So yes, your most important “subject” is God, which means getting into the Bible and praying with your children daily, teaching them to dig into the Word for themselves, and leading them into intimate relationships with Him.
Learning Doesn’t Belong in Boxes
Contrary to what the schools seem to teach, learning is not something that happens between 8 a.m. and 3 p.m. Often it does happen between these hours, but it definitely does not only happen at this time. Learning should be a lifelong, 24-7 thing. It can happen when we wake up in the mornings and even while we sleep at night. Learning does not require schoolrooms. Learning does not require days or schedules that match those of traditional schools. Learning does not require expensive curriculum. Learning does not look the same in every person. Force learning into a box and it stops.
There is no Average Child
Each child is unique, with individual strengths, weaknesses, and passions. Truly understand this and you realize that what works for one child may not work for the next. You also understand that your first child may be strong in language arts and weak in math while your second child is strong in math and weak in language arts – and this is okay. On this topic, let me encourage you to teach to your children’s strengths. Too often, homeschool parents get caught up in concern over weak areas and almost let children fend for themselves in their strengths. This is a big mistake. God gives us strengths because He intends to use them. If we end up focusing so much on our weaknesses that we become less strong in those other areas, what are we leaving Him to work with?
In similar vein, bear in mind that children progress at different rates. “Developmental readiness” is a good phrase to remember. I had to learn this with my youngest who, unlike his older brother, did not learn to read at 6 years of age, or at 7. It took a friend repeatedly explaining the concept of developmental readiness to me before I finally wised up and locked the phonics program away. I’d been banging our mutual heads up against the proverbial brick wall for so long that the relief was tremendous. What was also tremendous was the joy I felt sitting there, shortly after he turned 8, hearing him read the screen credits to himself after watching an IMAX movie. To this day, this memory brings tears to my eyes. When he was developmentally ready to read, he read, and not one day before. If I’d only “gotten” this earlier, I’d have saved us both a lot of heartache.
It is natural to be concerned when your child isn’t doing something by the prescribed time period, but we need to remember that the prescription is man-made. Not only are we all different, but studies have shown that a child can reach the age of thirteen without having had any formal academic instruction at all and be caught up to his peers in a matter of months. This is known as “delayed academics” and there is a lot to be said for it.
Curriculum is Your Tool, not Your Taskmaster
Many new homeschoolers fall into the trap of letting the curriculum be their taskmaster instead of their tool. Don’t. Do. This. Think of the curriculum like you do any utensil you have in the kitchen and use it to mix up just the right education for your children. Remember, too, that your job isn’t so much to cram your children’s heads full of facts and concepts as it is to teach them how to learn. With all the knowledge available to man today, there is no way you can teach every piece of knowledge your children supposedly need to know. What you can do, what you must do, is nurture their natural love of learning and help them learn how to learn. Anyone, child or adult, who loves to learn and has the skills required for learning will do just fine in life.
All Curriculum is Disposable
Because homeschoolers tend to live on tight budgets, we can have a hard time letting go of curriculum that isn’t working. I did this more than once, trying to make my children learn from things that weren’t good for them. What I eventually learned is that the monetary cost of ditching a curriculum that doesn’t fit is nowhere near as high as the educational cost of refusing to be rid of it. My holding onto, trying to force one son to learn from, that math text that the whole world said was the be-all-end-all was in large part responsible for creating the mathphobe he became. Oh that I’d followed my own instincts and tossed both the experts’ advice and that book out the window early on!
You ARE Your Children’s Best Teacher
God knew exactly what He was doing when He gave your children to you. He knew your strengths and He knew your weaknesses. He knew you’d have an easy time with one child, but not understand the next at all. He knew you would have doubts about your own abilities, and He knew BETTER. I’m sure you’ve heard it said that God doesn’t call the able, but rather enables those He calls. This holds true as much for homeschooling as any other part of our lives. Let Him lead you. Let Him use you. He will help you learn what you need in order to facilitate your children’s learning and He will surely, without a doubt, use your children to teach you. It’s all part of the process.
These were my “gotta gets.” What are yours? No matter how long you homeschool, you’ll always have them – things you really need to “get” if you are to train your children up in the way they should go. You will do it, though, if you stay focused on God and keep your ears tuned to hear the voice of the Holy Spirit. Go get ‘em!
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